Buckle up. I'm going to vent. This week I'm talking about one of my biggest pet peeves. And more importantly, what to do about it!

This is one thing that really gets my hackles up. 

It's when someone gets in your face and says... 

YOU NEED TO ASK FOR THE BUSINESS IN EVERY CONVERSATION!

Whoa.

You don't need to do that. 

In fact, I find it repulsive. 

Let's say I meet someone for the first time. They are a VIP, someone who could buy a lot from us. 

My goal in that conversation?

Find ways to be helpful.

Find ways to be helpful by: Sharing assets with them. Making introductions for them. Sharing perspectives that are helpful to them. All these ways of helping them succeed.

I definitely want to add enough value that they want to meet again, to have a next step, and advance. 

THAT is what you ask for, the next step. 

Ask for the advance.

Asking for the business, like getting the contract signed, can make a lot of sense. 

But only when it's the next very step. 

And that's very rare. 

There might be 99 steps before that. 

If you ask for the business in every one of those 99 steps, you'll sound like you're a used car salesman. 

What can I do to put you in a car today?

Ick.

Shower time.

The initial steps in a relationship are about building trust, creating some curiosity, and then maintaining the momentum you've gained.

Getting going from a cold stop takes some doing. 

Hey, I get people are trying to be helpful with this whole "ask for the business all the time" schtick. 

But the words we use stick with us. They matter. 

It's repulsive to a decision-maker to be asked for their business all the time. 

But when you have offered a helpful meeting (Give To Get!) and the prospective client loves the idea, definitely ask:

Hey, would it be helpful to pick the time for that meeting now? Sure beats going back and forth 20 times over email. 

That's being helpful. 

That's creating momentum. 

That's asking for the advance!

Want to grow your book of business, relationships, and career? I can send our best thinking right to your inbox every week in our GrowBIG Playbook newsletter. Click here to sign up!